WOW. IT HAS BEEN A YEAR. THE CORNY REFLECTIVE BLOG POST POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!
but seriously: a year is a very annoying amount of time. it isn't a very long time when all is said and done. it can feel long, but only if you are counting down the days until it ends. otherwise they just slip by and nobody notices until the year is almost over. to reflect on a year can feel a bit topical, but i do think it's necessary at times. when i came back here i don't think i had any conception of time, of what might happen, or of the possibility that a year would go by. well, now a year has passed and it feels like the fastest year of my life. if i could pick the cliche that best suits this scenario, i would say that "it's all been such a blur."
things feel as though they might be settling down a little. i like to think of the past year being akin to juggling many things: sharp objects, oblong pillows, liquids, morsels of food. this year will be like unfolding a nice, thick piece of watercolor paper and spreading it flat with shopworn hands. i think i will go work on a collage now.
tonight is movie night at KGB. they are screening beverly hills cop as per chris's request as it is his day of birth. i love it here. there is always something to do and there is always somebody to see.
in other news, andrea has caused me to become hooked on purple rain and this song is my jam (even though it's "take me with U" as opposed to "take me with YOU"- dumbass):
aaaah! i am sweet on somebody and i can't listen to anything else. i may delete this last part of this post at some point in the future.
last summer i really wanted to buy revlon nail polish in the shade of "gray suede." that color was so hot at the moment. i was in the middle of nowhere. i couldn't drive. i still can't, but that's beside the point. i made dustin drive me to all the drugstores on paseo del pueblo to find it. i felt like a fool, but i needed it so badly for some reason. dustin left in the middle of july. when i went with my mom to wal-mart a few weeks later, i finally found gray suede. it looked good, but there was nobody around to tell me so.
i just checked my old sarah lawrence email account. it's all junk mail. nobody is trying to reach me at that address, just as i knew it would be. i still receive emails from the barack obama (via the updates i signed up for during the 2008 election), the office of career counseling, and ralph's grocery store in los angeles, california. all of these inconsequential notes are like tiny little ghosts. together they make a shrine for the life i left behind when i set up my new email account. it sounds stupid. but i'm gone from that place, i'm in the world, and firstname.lastname@example.org is dead. it's like a grave. the junk mail constitutes the flowers.