no L train and the same old shit. i'm angry and need to be sedated. tea won't do it and neither will beer. i'm overreacting, but it's terrible to feel this way, just like when i was young and trapped inside on a saturday night when all i wanted to do was go to the movies. i knew that if i just tried to move on and think about something else and read a book or work on some writing or artwork then i would forget all about it, but a lot of the time i would just lie on my bed and fume for hours. eventually i would pick up a magazine, and then some scissors, and then i would make little surrealist collages because it was fun and we were learning about surrealism in art class. i cut out pictures of girls and put them on top of waves, inside of flowers, and other places where you wouldn't ever think to look for girls.